Le Vrai Winston - Part 1

Winston Chesterfield form Westminster, London writes about his recent visit to Malta:

I have just returned from a short break in Malta with Victoria. We stayed very near to Valletta - which is rather culture rich, cuisine poor - but the scenery more than made up for the lack of fine dining. It was very convenient to get from Valletta to other parts of Malta and we made many day trips - to Gozo and Comino, Naxxar, Mdina and Vittoriosa. The island being rather small, we managed to get rather a lot in and still thoroughly enjoy our relaxation time by the picturesque pool..

Valletta and Floriana are rather nice but the suburbs are nasty, unkempt and disappointing places that are in urgent need of a facelift. Peculiar trade shops (why are there so many car workshops?) that have been closed down for years, 19th century doorways filled in with breezeblocks and horrible businesses/buildings that came with the boom of mass tourism are an embarrassment to an otherwise rather grand part of the world..

The days of the grand tour really are over and Noel Coward was right - the wrong people do tend to travel. Terrible attitudes (incessant cackling, grunting, bravado), terrible clothes (clam diggers, flip flops, tank-tops) - terrible, terrible embarrassment. What I did notice was that the French and the Italian tourists grow out of such immaturity ('Look at 'im, in his ****ing bow tie) - the English, sun-burned, coarse, drinking, disgusting and depraved - do not. That we should be known as a land of gentlemen, on that evidence, is absurd and frankly laughable...