Mopeds, Horsemeat and Pynchon - Part 2

Frugal Traveler Matt Gross tries to cope in Malta and Gozo on 100 euros a day:

Meanwhile, MTV had chosen Malta as the annual site of its weeklong “Isle of MTV” bacchanal, taking place this week. The antiquated, smoke-belching buses date from the colonial era; there are also reputedly more Ferraris here per capita than anywhere else in the world. The Maltese lira, now being phased out in favor of the euro, was stronger than the British pound. No wonder three different people I met in Rome described this tiny country, whose three main islands cover just 122 square miles (about the size of the borough of Queens), as “weird.” (They meant it in a good way, I think.)

Malta’s historical significance, however, outweighs its tiny weirdness. For 2,000 years, it was one of the most important strategic locations in the Mediterranean, a key to controlling naval traffic between the sea’s east and west. More recently, Malta has occupied a strategic spot in the American imagination, from “The Maltese Falcon” to Thomas Pynchon’s “V” and Joseph Heller’s “Catch-22,” both of which had significant scenes set here. And Hollywood has gotten into Malta, too: “Troy,” “Gladiator” and even “Popeye” were shot here.

But experiencing this history via museums and archaeological sites proved a challenge, and not merely because I was staying on a secondary island. Malta in summer is so hot — easily 90 degrees — that the only thing to do after lunch is to find a place in the shade and nap till the heat subsides, around 4 p.m. Unfortunately for ambitious Grand Tourists, virtually all museums close at 5 p.m. How’s that for a catch-22?

My first day, for example, I walked out of Number 43 and into the heart of Qala (pronounced A-la), which like all Maltese villages centers on a magnificent Catholic church. Across from the church was Ta’ Vestru (5, St. Joseph’s Square, 356-2156-4589), where I ate rabbit stew, a Gozo specialty made from the meatiest bunny I’ve ever encountered, larded with carrots and peas, braised in red wine and served with a whole roast head of cauliflower and sweet peppers sautéed with fennel seeds. I washed it down with a half-liter of the house white and paid the ridiculously modest bill: 12.75 euros. I didn’t need to eat again all day.

Stuffed, I barely made it past Qala’s beige stone houses and endless stands of yellow-flowering wild fennel, to Hondoq Bay, the closest beach, where I roasted my distended belly amid vacationing Brits and local kids who dove effortlessly into the warm, blue water from a high pier. Sailboats and a Jet Ski sent ripples across the calm waters.

To see Malta and Gozo, I needed to be mobile, so I rented a 50cc Piaggio from On Two Wheels (36, Rabat Road, Marsalforn, 356-2156-1503, http://www.on2wheelsgozo.com/) at 19 euros a day. I first visited the Ggantija Temples (http://www.heritagemalta.org/; admission 3.49 euros), erected between 3600 and 3000 B.C. and believed to be the oldest free-standing buildings in the world. The back story was more impressive than its appearance — crumbling walls of beige brick supported by scaffolding. Angkor Wat this was not.

With the heat getting to me, I skipped nearby Calypso’s Cave — where legend has it Ulysses was detained for seven years as a love slave — in favor of a long, slow, well-shaded lunch at Gesther’s (8th September Avenue, Xaghra, 356-2155-6621), a charming luncheonette recommended by Time Out Malta & Gozo. My fish soup, spaghetti with rabbit sauce and red wine cost 10.10 euros, and brought that day’s Grand Tourism to an end. I was starting to understand why the 18th-century Grand Tourists took months or even years to complete their adventures...