Budget idiot's guide

Jacques reacts to the budget with his Idiot’s Guide to Reacting to the Budget:

J’accuse do some thinking for you so that you can venture into the world better armed. Here’s the deal: Yesterday evening while you were having your little wind-down pint after a day at work this geezer in a black suit looking very much like Tommy Lee Jones (but a tad less slick) spent the best of two and a half ours telling your compatriots what a great country this is to live in. He was also busy telling us all what an even greater country it will become over the next few years - provided you will vote back the Tommy Lee Jones lookalike for another term that is.

While aforementioned geeyer waxed lyrical about the managerial competence of his entourage and on how Malta is being rocketed into the High Society of modern nations, geezer number two sat poker faced and toupeed across the chamber trying to convey a cocktail of looks that ranged from (a) the mildly uninterested to (b) the “Isn’t this all so yaeningly predictable?” to (c) Jeez this guy really does not know his shit and y’all need me and my toupee to get you out of this misery with some proper neo-socialist projects.

At approximately the same time another geezer sat expectantly (but not much) massaging his furrowed brow and smiling patronisingly at every budget measure that was announced. Dressed in his “I am Aun San Suu Kyi’s Doppelganger” t-shirt he sipped on his Martini Bianco quietly ticking off all the budget measures that woz being ripped off the grand plan that he could call his own.