Firegoat Rant

Firegoat in Southall, London recalls the low points of her honeymoon in Malta:

Then we went on honeymoon to Malta. It was a last minute deal and we didn’t quite know what to expect, so we weren’t particularly surprised to be in a Saga hotel with a bunch of 90 year olds as well as the Moldovian football team and all their hangers-on. Having a two-year old and a pregnancy to take care of, it wasn’t the most carefree of holidays. Finding good vegetarian food was difficult; even though we tried a lot of the local fish we weren’t really impressed and felt hungry a lot. It was worse for our son because the food was quite unfamiliar to him, and after a few days he caught Salmonella from a badly boiled egg at the hotel..

One day we were walking around and were approached by someone offering us a free lucky dip which we accepted and then she told us we’d won the first prize, a gold pendant. I don’t know why we were sucked in, we must’ve been incredibly distracted, but we followed her to a hotel where we were supposed to pick up the prize. After waiting a while in the hotel she came and told us that we would be taken to another hotel to collect the prize. By this time we were a little suspicious...